Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
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Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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