You just made me feel so damn special
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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