Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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