so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
