i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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