Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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