I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
