Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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