I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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