It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
