haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
