Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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