Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
