What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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