i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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