I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
