Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
