Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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