She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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