She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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