I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
