You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
