did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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