They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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