her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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