So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
