He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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