yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm too high and old for this...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
