I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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