WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize