i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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