3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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