we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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