i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
