the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
