her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
