His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
