She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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