Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
