Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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