im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How external is "for external use only"?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize