Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
