I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
