I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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