My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
