Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize