There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we made out on top of his cat.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
