smell my finger.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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