for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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