Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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