Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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