we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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