Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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