Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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