but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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