i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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