I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
