So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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