she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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