Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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