Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
