Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
